With the month of February safely behind us, men everywhere heave great sighs of relief at having managed to come out on the other side of Valentine’s Day in mostly one piece, while women everywhere gloat at affections thrown at them and count chocolates instead of calories. Let’s call these lucky individuals the V. Day victorious.
As for the many unlucky causalities of love who did not make it past February 14 alive, lets take this opportunity to offer a moment of silence…
I did not partake in the Valentine’s Day revelries this year. My un-Valentine and I made a prior agreement not to celebrate it. A wise decision I think when looking back at my V. Day debacle last year that ended in my throwing a drink across a table and walking out on my date after he told me, among other things, that I made him “feel like a sex offender.” Enough said.
It is my suspicion that if one were to take the time to do the research, statistics would show that more relationships end on Valentine’s Day than any other day of the year. I think this is because there is so much build up around the day.
The card and candy companies would have you believe that V. Day is the only day in the whole calendar when both seasoned lovers and blushing sweethearts can lavish one another with affection and then they show you what that affection is supposed to look like. A candle lit dinner and a bed covered in roses comes to mind, maybe a horse drawn carriage or a ten-carat diamond.
The Load of Unreal Expectations
But let’s face it. Unless you have cash like Donald Trump, your Valentine’s Day is never going to add up to the commercials. And since in all the commercials it is Prince Charming that does the lavishing, the pressure is put on men to make their sweetie’s fantasies come true.
Not only is this unfair, it’s totally unrealistic. Time and again, I have seen men who crack under the pressure and women who end up angry and broken-hearted because their dreams of romance fall short. Come morning, everyone is disappointed and quarrelsome, looking for someone to blame.
So this year, I spent my Valentine’s Day alone, in bed with a book while my un-Valentine spent the day in Albuquerque, working on his 54 Ford. And later I went with my best friend to the Burrito Spot and stuffed my face with cheap Mexican food. It was the best Valentine’s day ever because I didn’t have to worry about looking fat or unlady like or having to change out of my pajamas.
The moral of the story? Don’t wait until Valentine’s Day to be romantic and sweet and loving and all those other things that each and every one of us is starving for. Give those things to the person you love every day.
Don’t put unrealistic pressures on your sweetheart. Have compassion. Be understanding. Communicate. Compromise. Don’t do things to your lover that you wouldn’t do to your best friend, like guilt-trip them or belittle them or neglect them”¦unless that is how you treat your best friend, in which case good luck finding someone to fall in love with you.
Well, I felt I would have been remiss not to mention Valentine’s Day but now that I have said my piece on it, let’s get down to business and answer some questions.
Copyright © IAIA CHRONICLE 2010